Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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