It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
