so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
