I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Can I color on your dick again?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
