I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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