Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
