guys are not supposed to queef...right?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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