Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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