Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
