it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize