remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
