No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
