Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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