I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
