OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
