Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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