I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
