My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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