escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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