Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
