What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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