Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
