and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
