One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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