The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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