whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
