Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
being pregnant is like rehab
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
