I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
