My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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