We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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