How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
