After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
