i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
