I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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