I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
