now i know why i became what i already was.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
