wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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