Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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