Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
