On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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