u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Randomize
