Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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