Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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