He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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