I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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