I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
