it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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