she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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