Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
