and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
