During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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