Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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